Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Same name. Same age.
It's not that I'm lazy...
...it's that I just don't care.
I haven't been slacking on the posting, folks. I've just felt really uninspired.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
What do I need?
Apparently more than I realized.
For the record, I don't dig memes. Actually, I generally despise them. They're a lazy man's way to blog. But...tell the truth, you could feel the "but" coming...this one makes me laugh out loud.
Simply Google your name plus the word "needs". Then pick out the first ten sentences that make sense.
Tip o' the cap to Scarlet for this one (by the way, she's a new add to the sidebar).
Here we go:
Tim needs to dump his lame girl: Tim's problem isn't with crack it's with his lame ass girlfriend and her pathetic family. I hope my wife doesn't find out about my girlfriend. Or the crack.
Tim needs your help, will sell wife for food. Food? No. Beer? Maybe.
Tim needs to develop a sense of trust in trustworthy adults. Trust no one.
Tim needs a shirt. Nope, just more crack.
Tim needs to be carefully managed. Finally, one that really applies.
Tim also needs to show the grass roots, the GOP establishment and the business community that he intends to give the CD 8 race 110%. I love the Grass Roots...My midnight confession...
Tim needs Edberg. Edberg? No. Vaidisova? Maybe. Sharapova? Definitely.
Tim needs to find a more acceptable way to deal with feelings of shame. Apparently, peeing one's pants is no longer an effective method.
Tim needs to make allies with associations. No, but I'd like to make allies of The Association.
Tim needs to marry, sire children, teach them to dance and play flute, write poetry, parse jurisprudence, chant Psalms, plant gardens. Good lord, man! That would seriously cut into all of my lying around time.
For the record, I don't dig memes. Actually, I generally despise them. They're a lazy man's way to blog. But...tell the truth, you could feel the "but" coming...this one makes me laugh out loud.
Simply Google your name plus the word "needs". Then pick out the first ten sentences that make sense.
Tip o' the cap to Scarlet for this one (by the way, she's a new add to the sidebar).
Here we go:
Tim needs to dump his lame girl: Tim's problem isn't with crack it's with his lame ass girlfriend and her pathetic family. I hope my wife doesn't find out about my girlfriend. Or the crack.
Tim needs your help, will sell wife for food. Food? No. Beer? Maybe.
Tim needs to develop a sense of trust in trustworthy adults. Trust no one.
Tim needs a shirt. Nope, just more crack.
Tim needs to be carefully managed. Finally, one that really applies.
Tim also needs to show the grass roots, the GOP establishment and the business community that he intends to give the CD 8 race 110%. I love the Grass Roots...My midnight confession...
Tim needs Edberg. Edberg? No. Vaidisova? Maybe. Sharapova? Definitely.
Tim needs to find a more acceptable way to deal with feelings of shame. Apparently, peeing one's pants is no longer an effective method.
Tim needs to make allies with associations. No, but I'd like to make allies of The Association.
Tim needs to marry, sire children, teach them to dance and play flute, write poetry, parse jurisprudence, chant Psalms, plant gardens. Good lord, man! That would seriously cut into all of my lying around time.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Perhaps I need to rethink my stance...
on High School Musical.
At first I shrugged it off as suburban, white bread, homogonized crap. A futile attempt at a 21st Century Footloose or Grease.
But, perhaps there's something else to it...once you strip away the layers.
At first I shrugged it off as suburban, white bread, homogonized crap. A futile attempt at a 21st Century Footloose or Grease.
But, perhaps there's something else to it...once you strip away the layers.
Remember in high school...
...the kind of chunky, plain looking girl who danced in the talent show in an effort to feel better about herself?
Some things you just can't un-see.
Some things you just can't un-see.
Kanye vows never to return to MTV
Time to update The List
As I reconnect with my little corner of the blogosphere, I realize that it's time for a little house cleaning. I need to update several things in my sidebar. I have moved on and am reading different books now, I've found a few new blogs for daily reading and, most importantly, The List has changed.
For those who don't know the origin of The List, I'll give you a crash course. The List is simply a ranking of five famous people who you can sleep with if the opportunity would ever arise. The imprtant thing about The List is that these are freebies. Your spouse or significant other (theoretically) can't say anything about it. Presumably, they have their own List. It's a high-tech version of the teenage party game Who Would You Do?...or, perhaps more accurately, an NC-17 version of Desert Island.
The List, pop-culturally speaking, is rooted in an episode from Friends (season 3, episode 5). The episode features a cameo by Isabella Rossellini. She is most definitely not on my List.
But, who is? The most recent List dates back to my old blog. And, much like other areas of my life, things have changed. I have stumbled across several new candidates that have worked their way into The List.
Two major criteria have now become crucial in compiling The List, humor and tats. I can't explain either one, really, Especially the tattoos. Must be a fetish...I always knew I was a freak. Anyway, here's the new List:
Jennifer Love Hewitt: She was, is and always will be #1. She would have to do quite alot to drop from this lofty perch. I'm talking marry-KFed-have-a-few-mistake-babies-slip-into-a-crack-induced-coma type behavior. I would walk barefoot through 10 miles of snow just to root around in her garbage cans.
Jordana Spiro: #2 with a bullet. You may recognize her from her starring role in the TBS sitcom My Boys. She plays a sportswriter who loves football, beer and her buddies. Those with an accute sense of pop-culture will perhaps recognize her from her role in Must Love Dogs, or a 1997 episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer (Reptile Boy). I think I actually like her because of the character she plays, though. Much like...
Lauren Graham: I think I really like Lorelai Gilmore, but either way she makes The List. I miss having her on primetime TV. Could somebody, anybody, give this woman a TV show so I can get in some quality oggling.
Kat Von D: Tattoos. Attitude. What can I say? She's just sexy. Plus, I bet she's a hell of a lot of fun to be around. I could actually expand this to include most of the girls on LA Ink, especially Hannah and Pixie. Yum. If I had the money and the opportunity I would love for her to do some ink work on me (no, that isn't code for anything).
Hayden Panettiere: Hey, she's 18 now. Don't judge me.
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